May 29 2017

Feeling a little ughh .
Sad melancholy and out of sorts .
Still it’s not worse than when I was with IT .
Sitting on the canal with the sun in my face. I feel more cheerful . The sun does that I guess.
I would really love to travel more and have financial stability .
Maybe all that has happened is setting me on the right path.
I was watching a little of lord of the rings and its so interesting when you see everything that they go through .
( from this side of the tv )
The arduous journey  was meant to happen but it seemed terrible to them in the moment …
Take Gollum
If Frodo hadn’t kept him and taken his side against Sam, things couldn’t have worked out .AND By keeping Gollum alive the ring was destroyed .

Anyway isn’t that the way Grand stories go ?
Not saying I am part of a grand story .. well that’s not true . To ME it’s a grand story . It’s my life after all .
Oh and also the way Saruman rallies the wild men .
They want to hate and kill so it’s easy to whip them up into a murderous frenzy . They are easy to control .
That’s kind of what happens when we are ruled by those dark emotions .
We are easy to control and we make dreadful decisions .
Ok these are my thoughts on this day as I watch the sun dipping down .
I hope it all goes well for me .
I believe in me .
At the very least I shall say
” fake it till you make it “

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