July 24 2017

My whole life was turned upside down .

Maybe it’s crazy to say ” I didn’t see that coming ” but I really didn’t .
No matter how flawed my marriage was becoming – lack of sex , ( he said no ) shutting down of any dialogue , lack of effort musically or in any way , I still thought he was the same person I married and that ” life” was to blame or got in the way or simply ” that’s ┬álife “.
I never seriously for a moment thought ” time to get out of this train wreck “.

And why ?
Because I did love him .

 
I don’t anymore .
How is it possible . Is there a switch ?
A love switch ? Is there such a thing?
One minute it’s on and the next it’s off .
I would watch movies like ” under the Tuscan sun ” and when she said ” I must have known but the light never went on “, ( or words to that effect ) I remember thinking , wow how can a woman NOT know her husband is doing that , fucking someone else .
I am certain that there ARE guys out there that don’t cheat . I just don’t think I’ve met any of them .
But I still believe….
In love at least .

 

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