When I travelled the first time, my first real travels with my best friend , I was so deliriously excited .
Finally I was getting out and seeing the world .
Finally I was leaving Australia and moving out of that boring mire and into an exiting future!
And it was AWESOME!
First a working holiday in Japan followed by Europe and Morocco , before heading back to Japan to collect some things and returning to Australia around 9 months later .
When I got back, I moved in with a guy I had met a few months before I had left .
We had corresponded constantly the entire time I was away .
It had all been sooooo romantic.
Whispering into the phone late at night after getting back from work in Tokyo . Writing long letters from exotic destinations ; perched up on a wall in an old Roman village , on a rooftop in Morocco . Sitting on a balcony on a warm summer night in Madrid , on a train zipping past the Swiss alps , on a bench gazing at a Japanese temple , on a beach soaking in the sun on whitewashed shores of the Adriatic.
Every week I received long long letters from him and even some mixed tapes ( yes it was way back when ).
As it turns out, he was a bit of a shit .
Then the weight of reality set in.
I had no onward ticket .
I had no money and no way out ( sound familiar ?)
I wanted to get back to Japan. I had no idea how .
I was FUCKED!
After almost a year, a miserable almost year, my friend told me of an ad she had seen for hostessing in Japan .
It seemed absolutely perfect !
I went for the interview with my crazy self on full throttle . Hell I would entertain them with enthusiasm and energy , plus I was dressed to kill . How could they say no!
It was in the bag.
I didn’t get it .
Finally I made the decision to go for a job demonstrating pianos and organs in a store .
I had given up and accepted I was to remain in Australia and needed to move out and away from the shit.
No sooner than I was hired , even before I started the first day, I received a call from my friend telling me of another hostessing job in Japan .
I rushed to the interview .
A few days later and a few days before I was to commence my new job, I received a special delivery . I signed for the envelope and ripped it open.
Inside was an airline ticket to Japan.
I rang the contact person and she confirmed I had been hired and was to leave in a month .
I rang the piano shop to let them know it may be better for them to find someone who would be sticking around.
They wished me well .
Its interesting now to reflect on that period before coming back to Japan .
I had been so disillusioned with the guy I had flown all the way back for . I had felt so stupid for going back to Australia when I could have stayed in Japan .
I had felt like I had blown my chance at a different life. All I would ever have would be those memories , while I wilted away at BBQs on weekends and watching TV on weeknights . My life would be set to snooze .
I hadn’t returned victorious, I had just returned to my old life , stuck, empty, broke, bored and totally depressed .
I feel a lot like that now .
In the in between . That place sandwiched between my old life and what is to come.
Maybe that flea bitten period of past was a lesson for me in this future, I may feel a whole lot of WTF and self condemnation right now BUT anything is still possible.
Maybe that past can be my inspiration now.
This, my 2017 and almost as broke, me ( seriously wtf is up with that hey ?) has more friends and resources and skills . And anyway, the view in Tokyo isn’t bad .
It’s an awesome place to be .
I need to drag my arse out of feeling sad and melancholy and at least go for a walk on this beautiful tokyo summer evening .
Yes my marriage is over , AND I have zero steady income .
Im dealing with PILE of crap that would rival 100000 elephants worth .
It’s BOUND to get me down .
But what if .
What if I get an envelope with a new life inside it .
I’ll keep you posted .