August 10 2017

When I travelled the first time, my first real travels with my best friend , I was so deliriously excited .

Finally I was getting out and seeing the world .

Finally I was leaving Australia and moving out of that  boring mire and into an exiting future!

And it was AWESOME!

First a working holiday in Japan followed by Europe and Morocco , before heading  back to Japan to collect some things and returning to Australia around 9 months later .

When I got back,  I moved in with a guy I had met a few months before I had left .

We had corresponded constantly the entire time I was away .

It had all been sooooo romantic.

Whispering into the phone late at night after getting back from work in Tokyo . Writing long letters from exotic destinations ; perched up on a wall in an old Roman village , on a rooftop in Morocco . Sitting on a balcony on a warm summer night in Madrid , on a train zipping past the Swiss alps ,  on a bench gazing at a Japanese temple , on a beach soaking in the sun on whitewashed shores of the Adriatic.


Every week I received long long letters from him and even some mixed tapes ( yes it was way back when ).

As it turns out, he was a bit of a shit .

Then the weight of reality set in.

I had no onward ticket .

I had no money and no way out ( sound familiar ?)

I wanted to get back to Japan. I had no idea how .


After almost a year, a miserable almost year, my friend told me of an ad she had seen for hostessing in Japan .

It seemed absolutely perfect !

I went for the interview with my crazy self on full throttle . Hell I would entertain them with enthusiasm and energy , plus I was dressed to kill . How could they say no!

It was in the bag.


I didn’t get it .


Finally I made the decision to go for a job demonstrating pianos and organs in a store .

I had given up and accepted I was to remain in Australia  and needed to move out and away from the shit.

No sooner than I was hired , even before I started the first day, I received a call from my friend telling me of another hostessing job in Japan .

I rushed to the interview .

A few days later and a few days before I was to commence my new job, I received a special delivery . I signed for the envelope and ripped it open.

Inside was an airline ticket to Japan.

I rang the contact person and she confirmed I had been hired and was to leave in a month .

I rang the piano shop to let them know  it may be better for them to find someone who would be sticking around.

They wished me well .



Its interesting now to reflect on that period before coming back to Japan .

I had been so disillusioned with the guy I had flown all the way back for . I had felt so stupid for going back to Australia when I could have stayed in Japan  .

I had felt like I had blown my chance at a different life. All I would ever have would be those memories , while I wilted away at  BBQs on weekends and watching TV on weeknights . My life would be set to snooze .

I hadn’t returned victorious, I had just returned to my old life , stuck, empty, broke, bored and totally depressed .

I feel a lot like that now .

In the in between . That place sandwiched between my old life and what is to come.

Maybe that flea bitten period of past was a lesson for me in this future,  I may feel a whole lot of WTF and self condemnation right now BUT anything is still possible.

Maybe that past can be my inspiration now.

This, my 2017 and almost as broke, me  ( seriously wtf is up with that hey ?) has more friends and resources and skills . And anyway, the view in Tokyo isn’t bad .

It’s an awesome place to be .

I need to drag my arse out of feeling sad and melancholy and at least go for a walk on this beautiful tokyo summer evening .

Yes my marriage is over , AND I have zero steady income .

Im dealing with PILE of crap that would rival 100000 elephants worth .

It’s BOUND to get me down .

But what if .

What if I get an envelope with a new life inside it .

I’ll keep you posted .




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